In the last month I’ve probably tried to write a half dozen blog posts or more, each equally meandering through my current mindset, trying to pinpoint just how it is I’m feeling after 6 months of utter change. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my past in Outdoor Education, it’s the power of reflection. I’ve gone through a lot of emotions since arriving here, but any concrete conclusion would have been shortsighted and self limiting.
If I had to sum up my stint, the Louis CK bit that Everything is amazing and nobody is happy might have been a fair assessment for a good chunk of time. It is what it is and there been quite few positives and self realizations, which at this point I’m quite content I think!) with.
Mainly, and out of necessity, I’ve learned to embrace change. I’ve always been a type A personality, and the last few months have forced me to explore my limitations and use it to my advantage. I’ve grown into a fiercely independent individual, bordering on afraid to let people in close. But in doing so I’ve made major commitments and set lofty goals. At 24 I feel like I’m in a place to continue to explore what the world has to offer.
For now, even though I work at a desk from 8-5, as low man on the totem pole, It’s an experience I can’t take for granted. I work with some amazing and inspiring folks, but it’s also taught me what I want in life, and when the time comes, to not be afraid to shock people with the decisions I make.
So wherever the wind blows me in the near future, the point I want to get across to the 3 family members that read this things is I’m content, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be content to settle. The world has a lot to offer, and there’s a lot I want to see, do, and affect before this condition called life comes to an end. If I seem selfish, narcissistic, or distant along the way my apologies.
For now, I’ll enjoy living in trout Mecca, I’ve probably caught more of these critters than at any time in my life. I’ll enjoy it while I can, because I know at some point most likely, I’ll be off again.